Randomly deep talks!

  To the one's who feel lost, There are days that feel dull even when the sun's shining brightly and days when you feel darkness blanketing you. There are days when you won't have the energy to get out of bed and face the world. There are days when feel you are going to break and crumble and you feel like you've hit rock bottom. You don’t have your life figured out and you feel lost or You can have your entire life figured out and still feel lost. You can be in your thirties or late twenties and working your dream job, and feel lost. You can be happy and have a lot of people around and still feel lost. Feeling lost is just like being in a tunnel, filled with darkness and deafening silence or loud chatter, knowing no escape. Feeling lost is like a nightmare, where instead of dreaming it, you are living it. Feeling lost is like drowning deep into water, gasping for air and voicing unheard screams. Maybe feeling lost is a part of life. It's okay to not know what t...

  A Little Bit of this and a little bit of that!! ^Disclaimer - Before I rant and you go through my ramblings without judgment (So grateful, by the way) I am Grateful that I have this with me, much like love. But it’s also so much terrifying, letting people in without knowing that weather or not they’ll understand – again much like love. This has been a glorious year in terms of hard hitting Self Realizations & Actualizations. The bare understandings of this grey world & learning to function as an adult through all of it. A hard realization that your parents are also growing old along with you. Learning that they are humans and weren’t born parents, they learn along the way and did the best they could in any given circumstances. And a new fear of their morality is there. Also, a realization that you are nothing but them (no matter how much you run during your late teens about this fact) you are nothing but them, an extension of them; you can and will only be a bette...

 “Beware of the gap. The gap between where you are and where you want to be. Simply thinking of the gap widens it. And you end up falling through.” ― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive   I have been hitting my lows very much lately for the same reason mentioned above the gap between where I am and where I want to be. And it has widened and I have fallen through it and hurt myself very bad. The lows are such that even the people who love me the most or are ones I love the most cannot understand or pretty much do anything about it! As a result I stopped talking about the same to anyone and I have fallen further down! Just when I thought that this is the lowest I can fall life laughs and throws me further down the abyss… where the only feeling that engulfs you is loneliness and the hard banging of your thoughts! And in that loneliness the voice becomes so strong that it’s just impossible to ignore or not hear it. And well, I know that it is not a great way to deal with it but ...

Selenophile means a person who adores moon; moon lover. I have been asked numerous times what does a Selenophile mean? Why do I call myself that? And why do I love moon so much? Well the toughest part about loving anything is to explain why you love it. When I look up to moon I see futility of our existence yet somehow it is peaceful. It puts my mind at ease. It lets me reach my subconscious which is getting harder day by day. I think it as a disadvantage of growing older. May be I am wrong but as a kid it was never hard for me to tap and reach my subconscious - the real me. Even a good book or movie, or a song or deep conversations with people I Love used to that but nowadays I find it increasingly difficult... but lazily walking in the balcony and watching moon does it. Reminding me of the real me and a weird and rare confidence that things are going as per the master plan and will turn alright. Another reason is it makes you believe is something bigger than you or anyone out ...

  Alot changes within us over time… The same happened to me too. There were certain things I used to believe firmly as a girl in her teens and on the same things my views are different as a grown up lady… I looked down upon people who used to smoke or drink or party every weekend. I felt they were losers and craved for external validation and socialization. But now I know it is not what you do, but who you are underneath, that defines you. I used to do things that made me look cool without truly understanding why had I been doing that… now I know that people do not remember you for how cool you were but how compassionate, empathetic & authentic you have been. I felt the lack of money was the root cause of all my family problems. And once we have money, we no longer will have any problems. But now I feel that our problems are the stories we tell ourselves, of how everything will be fine once we get what we want. I felt that rich kids will never make it in life, because they got ...

There may come times where things just seem hard and you’re running on empty, walking through days blind. There may come moments where things seem too much like you keep coming up last, and you’re losing your touch. But you are my life, and I’ll spend every single day reminding you that you are capable you are smart and strong and you will find your way. Hearts can hurt, minds can ache the world may seem far too big and everything feels at stake. But you will reach your dreams no matter how difficult it seems, and I will always believe in you in all that you ever set out to do.

Does money buy you happiness? Or happiness is an abstract thing nowhere connected to money? Or is that if you are happy money and success will follow? The most profoundly confusing questions in life... What to chase? Happiness or Money?  Well people who have seen much things early in life or who think that in their life just one thing is creating havoc, with their life experiences feel that just money can buy you happiness... it’s the only means for happiness... or they feel that with money all their life problems will be solved... may be yes... may be existing problems will be solved but the different kind of problems will arise like not getting enough contentment with life or work.. even after using ever bit of energy instead of being happy of having a satisfied day at work they feel sad for the life they have!! They convince themselves that life is all about money and material happiness and they start a race which they think they cannot quit until secured which they never will b...

Until very recently, I couldn't make much sense out of Tara. I didn't understand why, after Corsica, she waited for Don for as long as she did - it was only a handful days, yes she had the time of her life with him, they were strangers role-playing in the middle of nowhere, and in their emptiness, they gave each other the chance to be full of things they never knew existed within their insides. But don't you tend to forget and move on over someone when you haven't come across even their reflection for years on end? 8 years is a long time to get rid of someone, even if they managed to touch the deepest corners of your heart. She must have felt, 'Hell! I don't even know this dude's name, what am I even doing with my life?' But only now have I realised, Tara never really waited for Don. She moved on, from Calcutta to Delhi, from a relationship to single hood, from parties to enjoying her own company - remember the scene where she cuts into a cake and has a ...

Ever came across the situation where there is a literal conversation between your mind and heart? Everyone someway or the other-way have! Your brain might frequently speak with uncertainty, but your heart will lead you to your truth. It’s so true. Which is why I’m increasingly starting to think with my heart more than my head. Wait, you say. How do you think with the heart? Especially in a world where we are told, usually by parents or teachers, to “use that thing on your shoulders!” or “You were born with a brain for a reason!” While I don’t dispute that, I also maintain that we were given a heart for a reason (aside from the whole “It keeps us alive” thing): to feel our way through life. I’m not even sure we’re meant to think our way through our days, ongoing problems, and big-picture issues. The mind is there to weigh options, to process the pros and cons, and to filter thoughts in the moment. But real decision-making, for me, is best conducted through the heart. Before I make a big...

 I once read somewhere in a book "I am scared" said the mole "Everyone is a bit scared lil one, but when together we are less scared" said the wise horse I love this quote immensely. FEAR an emotion not all are willing to accept. Fear to fail, fear to not live upto the expectations, fear of love, fear of commitment, fear of future, fear to spoil something so beautiful and fragile, fear of not being good enough, fear to do the same mistake again, etc and the list can continue be truthful and add your own. We may or may not agree to this but fear is very much a part of our daily lives. It lives upon our (self made) insecurities and feeds itself upon overthinking or thinking about it at all. Fear sometime shows what we value the most in our lives. So what most people do is they shut themselves in a cacoon that such a fear doesn't exist and come out thinking that they have relinquished the demon. But in reality they were just fooling themselves and most importantly ...

Today I saw two small girls playing badminton; a very common game.  The two girls were playing with a lot of effort. Hitting hard with the racket, running for the cork, teaching each other and scolding each other. But they didn’t know how to play they were making small baby steps in learning it.. This continued for days,  2-3 hours each day. Their temperament was motivating.. Even when their cork didn’t hit the racket for this long they keep on playing and telling each other techniques that even the other barely knew (Literal trial and error). And even when they hit the cork, it flew in some other direction rather than where they were targeting.. In spite of this they motivated each other picking up the cork and giving it another try hoping this time somehow it would work and they would learn it.. But even though they didn’t  learnt it they went home happily and satisfied. Smiling cause they played and hoping that they will try again tomorrow and knowing that they will kn...

  When people talk about pain in general they say two things: 1. " That this is so much more pain.." (cause they compare it with their pain) come to a conclusion that they haven't experienced any pain till now. 2. "That's ok..! But you know people go through worst than this.." (cause they again compare with any pain - their's or other's) and come to that conclusion For the one's saying to themselves that they haven't experienced any and the one's hearing to other's pain and saying that people go through much worst.. or it's a journey of life or it's your beautiful scar: Let’s be frank – there are actually times when it feels the whole world is falling apart and you feel that the day may or will not pass. You cannot compare your pain to others’ just as your journey or circumstances so why respond with “someone else has it more or worse."  Pain is pain and is immeasurable when it’s felt because in that moment it feels like ...

Dear Life, You are a 4 letter word just like love, lust, hate loss, fate... (Okay! Not  my dialogue but taken from "4 more shots, please!"). You are exhausting at times and I just feel like giving up. You throw more tantrums than I have ever known possible (even more than my best friend, really). You slow down, you speed up, you take time and give time. Sometimes there is sunshine and other times there are storms. But I really wonder at the thought of how you are so fragile yet so beautiful!  So tragic yet so happy! How you can be completely two opposite thing yet have meaning! I guess that's your beauty! So I try to break it up a little, take risks, love a lot and try to find comfort in trying new things. But you are never the same. You are always changing, always keeping me guessing. So I try to live you to my absolute potential. To which I mostly fail! But you know as I say "JEEWAN CHE! JEEWAN MA BADHU THY" (It's life, and many things keep on  happening i...

Passion, love and happiness share a very close relationship.However, the relationship is not as simple as it may seem. Passion works in dual modes : Harmonious and Obsessive, depending on how the passion is associated with the person's identity. Obsessive passion is toxic and self destructive. The sense of excitement derived from it is so uncontrollable that it has the tendency to take over your life, your relationships and your identity. Conversely, Harmonious passion is characterized by more restraint and self awareness. The activity occupies a significant but not overpowering space in your identity and is in harmony with other aspects of your life. Two movies depict this.. Tamasha n YJHD. When I saw Tamasha, I thought that Ved is who Bunny would have become had he not pursue his passion of travelling the world They're both characters so strongly associated with their passions, that they'd crumble if you take it away. We experience Bunny's journey as he dreams and liv...

" HAPPINESS CAN BE FOUND EVEN IN THE DARKEST OF TIMES IF ONE REMEMBERS TO TURN ON THE LIGHT" - Professor Albus Dumbledore In the tragic times where we cannot find positivity or happiness is when we seek resort to fiction and remember to turn on the light! With all the mental health campaign going around I cannot help but think that ofcourse we should have people whom we talk to about anything and everything in life but of most we should be able to talk to God and our own inner self! Believe me alone time is much needed! And if you cannot find peace in this look around mother nature does have many elements to talk to and find peace and happiness in! Believe me! No matter what you are going through in life or anyone does understand or does not understand you or you think that your life is over! That cool breeze will give you calmness you need, that rain will still make you happy, the child on the opposite side of the road playing carelessly will give your inner child a nudge al...

In the silence between the thoughts, I feel you In the breeze that touches me every time I stand with something in mind, I feel you In the certainty of future, I feel the you In the bad deeds that I did, I feel you  In the movement fading, I feel you In the comfort of birds chirping, I feel you In the beauty of sun setting and moon rising, I feel you The talk with my Amor and Amica, I feel you In all the I love you's, I feel you In the laughter and the tears around, I feel you I feel you here with me always I feel you in forever I know and forever I don't know I know you and I trust you, I love you and I feel you!

I was randomly binge watching YouTube when I came across a poet name sarah kayle, in her video she said that the first think she tells to crowd who came to learn how to write, is pen down "10 things I know to be true" (as a list only, coz they are begginers) if not this than jottling down any 10 things that matter or you should have learnt etc.  And what happens further is you would discover that if we all started sharing our lists out loud.  At a certain point, you would realize that someone has the exact same thing, or one thing very similar, to something on your list. And then someone else has something the complete opposite of yours. Third, someone has something you've never even heard of before. Fourth, someone has something you thought you knew everything about, but they're introducing a new angle of looking at it. And this is where great stories start from..  P.S. - It's a fun exercise.. i did it with my people.. you wou...

TED TALKS since long when I started searching for answers that my parents, teachers and books cannot provide have been my diplomatic teacher.. and I specifically say DIPLOMATIC.. They make me think, wonder and aspire. After these 3 exercise together I am pretty sure any human would either end up being more confused or satisfied of seeing such a motivating piece, same happens with me and I just hope with many others too.  TED TALKS make me sure of one thing so far that everyone has atleast one such idea worth spreading to millions. We just need know our own topics or idea. In a recent TED TALK by ELIF SHAFAK she told: " And I think for writers, readers and for storytellers, at the end of the day, there is one main homeland, and it's called "Storyland." And the taste of that word is the taste of freedom." As much I have read ELIF'S work I know her choice of words are not such which makes her work free flow or lucid but they undeniably leave impact and you wil...

We never know what works in our life or what road plan did god have for us.. I thing we can be sure of is that he has something for us.. he made us for a purpose to be fulfilled.. life never works according to plans.. but one thing that we can guarantee ourselves is to be happy in life n work hard n be super talented.. being famous is something that just happens to you.. that can never be a goal for anyone.. And shouldn't be..  The same is explained by Maisie Williams in her ted talk. Arya Stark in game of thrones - that would be a good explanation.. "In a world where literary anyone can be famous I hope to inspire people to be talented instead. Talent can carry you so much further than 15 minutes of fame. So why am I telling you all this? The very fact that I am here giving you a Ted talk now is so far from anything at what I was capable of.. even while writing the bio for my speech made me realize that in a decade everything can be changed and so has my life.. I a...

A very underrated yet soothing n motivational song.. which makes you dance to it's tune & leaves you with a smile, hope and faith. As what I take it, it is an conversation between man as traveller and god.. and I feel the traveller as me or every other human. The song starts by god pushes the traveller by saying is to continue the journey just as we are going and says us that you are perfectly where you should be.. and also asks us to enjoy the nature along the way & take solace there when tired.. "BADI RANGEEN HAI YEH DUNIYA!" The traveller says that the road on which he is travelling feels like he is just about to meet someone.. his heart goes through many emotions and he feels as of he is going to meet someone very special.. one whom he has wished for a quite long time..  The god just asks him to no matter what continue the journey and says him.. "AANSU KI NADIYA BHI HAI, KHUSHIYO KI BAGIYA BHI HAI" and tell him that all...